


Grace

by Lily_Harvord



Series: Music Collection [1]
Category: Red Queen Series - Victoria Aveyard
Genre: F/M, I dont make the rules but those are the rules, I'm tired of seeing a bunch of smut, These two losers are in love, also give me marecal being domestic and romantic or give me death, and Cal is hopeless fucking romantic, listen I'm a sucker for domestic pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:41:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26606911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Harvord/pseuds/Lily_Harvord
Summary: An idea like this has been bouncing around my head for days. I feel like Mare would have so much to think about and deal with as she ages. I feel like this is the perfect little anecdote and the idea of aging is something that I feel like isn't really discussed a lot in fan fiction. So here, have some. This is going to be a part one of many little anecdotes.
Relationships: Mare Barrow/Tiberias "Cal" Calore VII
Series: Music Collection [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935586
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	Grace

I don’t remember when I stopped looking like myself.

Maybe it was after Coriane. I’m doubtful of that conclusion. She was a tiny baby, and I had bounced back into my uniforms at a pace that Farley had grumbled about for months. I was convinced that I would be able replicate the process almost five years later. My pregnancy with Shade had been a whole different beast though. 

It had to be after Shade then. 

I turn to the side, and twist my lips at my image in the mirror. No amount of training had been able to remove that pouch between my hips. Nothing could get rid of those stretch marks that crept up the sides of my stomach either. Sara had told me they were beautiful when I mentioned quietly how I felt about them. They’re a testament that you carried two babies in there, and they’re a reminder of that wonderful process, she had told me as she spooned applesauce into her second son’s mouth. She had adopted him out of a war torn Piedmont family, and she adored him as if he came from her own body. 

I didn’t need reminders of that process. I had two reminders already, running and shrieking in my house, waking me up at ungodly hours by tapping on my cheek, or driving me up the wall with their antics. I was fine with just having that, I didn’t need the reminder on my body too.

I just didn’t look like myself anymore. 

Running a scrutinizing eye over the rest of my body, I feel my lips pull down into an even deeper frown at what I see. My hips are wider than I remember them being a few years ago, and my breasts are definitely two different sizes. I blame Shade and Coriane for that. My son had refused to stop nursing, and my daughter had been terrible at nursing in general. I have more scars than I remember, and those thick branching ones on my back seem to get a little wider every month. 

Mare Barrow of the Stilts would be shocked to know what her body would like at 35. She knew she might look like her mother someday, thin and wispy, with a little more chipping off like old paint every day. She probably hadn’t pictured what would happen after countless battle injuries, living more comfortably than she even could have imagined, and two children though. I bet if I went back in time to tell her what she would become, who she would become, she would laugh in my face and spit at my eye sometime between throwing insults. 

“Mommy.”

Snapping my robe closed with my heart pounding in embarrassment, I glance over my shoulder to spot one part of my musings. Standing there trying to do his little tie, Shade shows me his tangled up fingers with a pout. 

I chuckle softly at his expression and beckon him to me. He hurries across my bedroom so I can crouch down in front of him and untangle his hands. 

“Why didn’t dad help you with this?” 

“He’s busy on a call from uncle Kilorn. I told him I could do it myself.” 

“Uh huh.” I nod with mock seriousness as I start the knot over. He’s only seven, but he’s got an independent streak that puts him in some tight spots that Cal and I have to rescue him from more often than not. He watches my hands with narrowed eyes as I work, probably trying to memorize the movements. When I finish, I ask, “What is Cori doing?”

“She’s done getting ready. She’s in the family room reading.” Shade shrugs as I tighten the knot just a smidge more and adjust the collar of his little suit jacket. 

“Did she brush her hair?”

“I dunno.” 

“Does her hair look like a lion’s mane?” I tease and he throws his hands over his mouth to hide his smirk, his only tell when he lies. At least he inherited his father’s complete inability to lie. Coriane on the other hand could lie her way to the moon if she wanted, and I blame my parenting for that. I taught her young how to get out of things, I regret that now. 

“Did she tell you to lie to mommy and say she brushed her hair?”

He shakes his head quickly but doesn’t take his hands away from his mouth. Raising my brow at him, I wait for him to break completely. 

He sits in silence, his eyes darting left and right. Eventually I notice his face progressively getting redder and redder. 

“You can’t hold your breath and pass out to get out of this.” I snort before rising from my crouch, deciding to let him off the hook. I hear his rapid exhale and inhale as I leave my room and head downstairs. 

Sure enough, my daughter is curled up in the window seat, her nose buried in a book. She’s dressed in the nice pants and shirt Gisa made for this occasion. Unfortunately, her hair is hastily tied back into a ponytail. It looks more like a bush attached to the back of her head than hair. 

“What have we talked about?” I ask her as I approach. Her shoulders pull up to her ears at the sound of my voice, and she glances at me with a sheepish smile. 

“I’m almost done though; can’t I just finish?” 

“We’re going to be late if you don’t get your butt upstairs and brush your hair.” I admonish, as I hold my hand out for the book. Her face falls, before it shifts dramatically into that pleading face she knows gets her anything she wants. 

“Just one more chapter? Pleeeeeeeaaaase?” She bats the thick, long lashes she got from Cal and although a part of me still melts at the sight, I’ve learned my lesson. Give her rope, and she’ll walk for miles. 

“No, no more one chapter. You stayed up until two reading.” She blushes red, and she opens her mouth to refute my words. “Don’t even try. Dad went to bed then and saw the light on in your room.” 

Her lips twist to the side, and she chapters her book off before handing it to me, begrudged. I take it as she slides out of the window box, a knowing smile touching my lips. Giving her a little nudge between her shoulders blades when she hesitates and gazes longingly back at the book, I say, “You can have it back at the dinner tonight. And I’ll even let you bring a second book to start.” 

Her eyes light up and she takes off, her feet pounding on the stairs as she goes. Setting that book down on the side table, I follow her. As I enter the hallway, I can hear Shade in her room, chattering away. I can almost picture the layout of her room perfectly. He’s perched on her bed, kicking his heels and playing with the fringe on her blanket. Coriane sits at her little vanity, brushing her hair so quickly she’s probably pulling it out in chunks, while nodding along to whatever he says. 

My children remind me so much of Shade and myself that it makes my chest ache somedays. I’m sure it reminds Cal of Maven too. We have yet to truly discuss that with our children. I wonder if I’ll be able to tell them what truly happened. We’d have to do it sooner rather than later though. Coriane is starting higher school soon, and when she does, her history classes will start to turn toward the Nortian Civil war. She’ll need to understand what the names on those pages mean. 

I pass my bedroom, and lightly knock on the ajar office door. Cal’s eyes dart up from the papers in his hand when I open it further and stick my head in. I give him a fake smile and hold my hand up to tap my wrist. He rolls his eyes and gestures to the phone he’s balancing in his ear. Huffing at that, I storm across the room before pulling it away from him. 

Pressing the receiver to my ear, I try to ignore the look Cal throws my direction. “Kilorn, the speech sounds fine. You’ve had ten different people read it, including me.” I glower at Cal then, who simply shrugs in response. “Now if you don’t mind, I do need to steal my husband so that he can handle our children because I’m not dressed yet, and I don’t plan to be late to my best friend’s inauguration.” 

Kilorn is quiet on the other end before saying, “It’s going to be good right? I’m not going to sound too… wishy washy?” 

“If you sounded wishy washy, I wouldn’t have voted for you. I’m hanging up now, we’ll see you at the ceremony.” I press the receiver down before he can reply and drag a hand down my face. 

“You gave him a much needed confidence boost there.” Cal teases as he sets Kilorn’s speech aside and rises from the chair. His shirt is still unbuttoned, and he’s missing his jacket. I grab at the shirt and start buttoning it up, ignoring the teasing smile he gives me when my cheeks flush slightly. 

“You should have done exactly what I did and then helped Shade with his tie. He got his fingers all tangled up.” I admonish before patting the finished buttoned-up product. He tilts his head down to smile before sliding his fingers under my chin and lifting my head a bit more. “Plus, I had to corral Coriane who definitely did not put her conditioner in last night, so we’re going to have to deal with that mess before we leave.” 

“They’re going to look fine. Besides, no one is going to be looking at us. This is all about Kilorn today.” He murmurs before pressing a light kiss to the tip of my nose. 

I sigh in exasperation at his words. “People will look, they always look.” 

“And we’re going to look just fine.” He presses one kiss to my temple, and then turns my head to press one on the other side.

“You’ll like fine; you always look fine.” I close my eyes at the feather light touches, melting just a bit. 

A kiss gets pressed to one of my eyelids. “You are always the most beautiful woman at these things, you know that.” Another kiss lands on my other eye. I scrunch up my nose in distaste and open my eyes. He slowly pulls away to tuck my hair behind my ear in response. 

Sliding a hand around my waist he pulls me up so that our bodies are flushed against each other. He hasn’t changed much over the years. At 38 he still looks like he’s pushing 24. All those good silver genes that have been passed through the generations. There are laugh lines starting to cut around his mouth, but that’s hardly a fault. I hope Shade ages like him. I don’t have to worry about Coriane, she looked like Cal the day she was born, and she’ll look like him for the rest of her life. She has the same amber eyes, and the same jet black hair. My features are hidden, but they’re there. In the shape of her nose, the hint of honey brown in her hair, and her smaller size. Everything else is her father though. 

He guides my arms up to wrap around his neck before sliding his hands down my body to rest on my waist. With a smile that has always coaxed me back into bed on mornings when our children are still sleeping, he whispers, “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and will ever see.” 

“Now your pushing it.” I grumble as I try to escape his embrace. He pulls me up against him though so that I have no hope of getting away, and presses a kiss into the hollow below my ear. My eyes close involuntarily and my mouth falls open in a soft exhale at the sensation. 

He presses another kiss against my neck and breathes against my skin. “You are, and always will be.” 

I can feel my entire body responding to him. Damn, if he’s not careful I’m going to drag him down the hall to deal with this properly. We’ll definitely be late to the inauguration then. 

“You know I’m not who I was when you first fell in love with me,” I whisper that thought quietly against his jaw. It had been nagging at me for days, and this morning it had really come to the fore as I stood in front of the mirror. He could say I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen all he liked, but that didn’t mean I had to believe it. 

His hands trail along my back and he whispers into my hair, “And I’m not the same either. It doesn’t change anything.” 

“Don’t lie. We both you know look the exact same as you did when we first met.” I grumble, earning a little laugh from him. 

“Do not. Besides, what does it matter what you look like now?” He pulls away enough to bring a hand up and trace his thumb along my lower lip. With another gentle smile he tips my chin down to press a kiss to the space between my brows. “You’ve brought two beautiful children into the world, and that still hasn’t stopped you from running head first into battle. You are still the force nature I feel in love with.” 

I can’t help the smile that creeps to my lips as he presses soft kisses down the ridge of my nose. When he reaches my lips, I hug my arms a little tighter around his neck. “Careful, if you keep talking like this it might be three children.” 

His eyes light up, and he presses the ghost of a kiss against my lips. “I would not be opposed.”

“Ew.” 

I pull away from the actual kiss to glance over my shoulder with a light laugh. Shade stands in the doorway with his sister, looking every bit as disgusted as he sounds. He makes a face and pretends to gag in the hallway. Even Coriane looks a tad more disgusted than usual. Her lips twist to the side as she looks at us. “Are you two going to make out? Cause that’s gross.” 

“Bleh.” Shade makes another pretend gag sound in the hallway. 

“It’s hardy bleh.” Cal teases before sweeping me to the side and into a dip. “Your mother is beautiful and I plan to kiss her as long as I can.” I gasp at the sensation of falling backwards before smirking as he presses another kiss to my lips. 

“Gross!”

“Yuck!” 

“You guys are so gross!” 

“Yuck, yuck, yuck!” They sprint down the hallway on the tail end of Shade’s words, both of them making gagging sounds that were comical no matter how unreal they sounded. 

“That certainly got rid of them.” Cal smirks as he pulls me back up to my feet. I smack his shoulder playfully in response.

“If they heard what I said, I am not going to deal with the fallout of that.” I adjust my robe that had fallen open slightly and push my hair into some resemblance of order. 

“I’m sure they know where babies come from by now, Mare. Coriane is twelve, and kids talk.” He passes by me, but not before hooking the top of my robe and pulling it away from my shoulder to press an open mouthed kiss there. I push his face away and wrestle my robe closed. 

“Later, you pain in the ass.” I tease at his back. He doesn’t even give me a response. Instead, he calls down the hallway for the kids, already telling Coriane to get in the bathroom so they can fix whatever else she’s done with her hair. I hear Shade shriek with laughter a heartbeat later which means he must have chased him and caught him. 

Smirking, I slip out of the office and close the door behind me. Immediately I can hear Coriane in the bathroom whining that there’s too much conditioner, which Shade immediately laughs about too. Pacing along the wall, I glance over the pictures we have hanging there. Tracing the one of Coriane holding Shade the day he was born, I let my fingers hover over that one the longest. 

Another loud protest from Coriane draws my attention back to the bathroom and I glance inside at the scene before leaning against the doorway. Coriane pouts at her reflection while Shade perches on the edge of the bathtub watching the whole thing. Cal continues to thread his fingers through our daughter’s hair through her protests, taming the curls as best as possible. Even when his fingers get caught on a particularly nasty knot and she pulls an ugly face that makes Shade howl with laughter. 

Yes, Mare Barrow from the Stilts definitely wouldn’t have been able to guess that this is what she would be watching on a spring day in her future. But in some ways, it’s better than anything she could have imagined.


End file.
